Update, or maybe more of a lack in one...

I emailed my dietician this morning and canceled my appointment for next week.  It seemed like a complete waste to bother going knowing there'd be no change for several reason...

1- One goal after my last appt. was to lean more towards eating real lunches rather than cafe. food or frozen meals.  The problem is that our lunch program at school a monthly thing now and I had already ordered and paid for school lunches almost every day the following week so this new plan couldn't start immediately.

2- The week after that was when I was on break from school.  Again, my meals were thrown off.  I wasn't eating horribly, but I was going out a lot b/c I was out and about with friends.

3- I stopped exercising during break.  I put in my 45 minutes every day after my last appt. and saw no changes.  (Yes, I know a week won't necessarily lead to immediate changes, but I'm just stating that it didn't.)  I originally planned to continue to work out every day while in Jerz, but I didn't.  After my meltdown and all my built up frustration, I just felt like I needed a break from it all.  I planned to get back into the swing of things after break, but that hasn't happened so far.

I did, however, weight myself upon returning from Jerz.  Even with being a bit less cautious about what I was eating and not exercising at all... I weigh the same.  I guess this is good b/c the "slips" didn't lead me to gain weight... a plus.  It doesn't make me less frustrated though.  The thought of returning to 5am wake-ups is making me tired just thinking about it.  I guess it's just getting harder and harder to push through the "no fun" stuff b/c of the lack of results.  I've stuck to eating yogurt for breakfast and eating more fruits/veggies on a regular basis.  I know everyone says I need to stop focusing on numbers so much, but then what else is there????  This has been going on for a while and the number doesn't change, my clothes don't look/feel any different, and I don't feel any different (physically, mentally, or emotionally).  It's angering and frustrating and feels unfair.  I know losing weight isn't something that's easy for most people, but I've truly worked hard and made changes and what have I gotten from it?  NOTHING!  I see people around who lose weight by making only small changes or making a single change... and then I make several, decent-size changes... and then up them even more... to get... NOTHING!  

I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do at this point.  

<3
*Slinky*